Man Monday is the day to speak to Gen X and Baby Boomer men about a particular topic related to sex and relationships. If you have gone through a divorce or death of a spouse or just never been married, you may want to check out online dating. This week, I sharing 7 Tips to Help Men Write a Compelling Online Dating Profile. Have a question you want to be answered, submit it and I’ll answer it on a future Man Monday or on my Sex As We Age podcast.
The video is captioned.
Hi everyone. It’s Renee. And I am excited for you to be here with me today because I’m kicking off something new called Man Monday. And the reason I’m doing this is because as a clinical sexologist, I noticed that a lot of things are directed towards women. As far as sexuality is concerned, how to please your man in bed, how to give a blow job, how to give a massage, a lot of stuff like that. And it’s all great. There’s nothing wrong with that. But as I was doing my research, I noticed there was nothing directed towards men at all, about how to please a woman or very little, I will say very little directed towards that. So I thought what I would do is talk to a lot of male friends that I had asked them, some of the concerns that they’re having, and then answer those questions here on man.
Monday, they’re all confidential, but this is where I’m going to do it. So if you have a question, please feel free to submit it to me and I’ll leave my email address. So first question that I have is Renee. I’m trying to do online dating what is the best way to do it? Because I have been unsuccessful in meeting people this way. So this is a great question. I have done a lot of online dating since 2000. Yes. I’ve dated successfully. Actually, I would say I’ve gone on more than one date. I’ve actually dated people for a year or more that I’ve met online. So no by no means an expert, but I think I have some tips that I can share with the guys. When you take a picture, please take a picture of you or at least identify who you are. If you’re in the group picture.
So sometimes what will happen is we’re going through the photos and we’ll look and we’ll say, okay, well there’s, I guess this is him. I don’t know. It’s like a picture of four guys. They’re all at a bar. You all kind of look similar. Okay. So point out which one you are or get a friend to take a picture of you or take a selfie. So to release them, you, number two, we really don’t know. I need to see pictures of your car, your dog, your cat, your house, your boat especially not the car that you took a picture of at the car show that’s on carpeting. We know that’s not your Maserati or your Lamborghini, and that’s okay. Take a picture of you. We want to see what you look like so that we can identify you when we actually meet you. When we’re out of COVID for dates, number three, you have a picture of yourself with somebody else. That is an ex of some sort, okay, you dated this person in the past. It’s your, ex-wife or your ex-husband not judging, whatever. Please don’t just take a Sharpie as scratch that person out or take scissors and try to cut around them and leave that really weird picture on the internet. Get a selfie, have someone take a picture. It just looks better. And it looks like you’re a techie. Tech-Savvy that’s what we like.
Number 3, please read the person’s bio that you’re trying to contact. There is nothing worse than having someone that you finally meet. And then you, they start to ask you all the questions that you wrote in your bio read through it so that you have something to talk about and you don’t say things like, so where’d you grow up? It’s in the bio. What do you like to do for fun? It’s in my bio read through that. That lets me, that shows me that you pay attention to a little bit of detail and that you at least took the time to read it.
Number four, we realize that everyone isn’t photogenic and that sometimes pictures don’t come out great. It’s okay. Post those and then fill in your bio so that we can get to learn more about you. Also what’s terrible is when you get a name at the top and then everything else is like, contact me for answers. Contact me for answers. Contact me for answers. No, put that in there. So I know if I want to contact you. I don’t want to spend time asking you every single question, put that information
In there. So there’ll be, get to know you.
Number six, if you meet somebody that you enjoy, or you like her, picture his picture, whatever, and you connect, connect with them outside of the dating profile that you’re using. That means through texts or old school telephone, talk to the person, meet them in person. I know we’re at COVID. So maybe meeting at Starbucks, isn’t going to be a thing right now, but people are still going out, meet them somewhere so that you can have a conversation and get to know them better. Don’t keep it just inside of the app because it makes it seem like you may not be who you really are. And I understand we’re a little nervous because of COVID. So do that wisely, of course, but at some point, make the effort to take it offline and to actually get a chance to know the person, do FaceTime, do a zoom meeting.
I mean, get to know them and see them face to face. So those are my tips for online dating. And I hope that they work for you. Try them out, let me know how they go. And if you need help in writing your bio or choosing the right picture or just someone to look it over and say, Hey Renee, what’s reading my bio and tell me, what do you think of it? Because being positive is also a good thing. Sometimes what happens? And I’ve heard this, I read through women’s bios too. So I noticed this happens. This is the bonus tip that I hadn’t planned to do. But sometimes you read through a bio and somebody will say something like no game players, or I don’t want any women that are looking for X. And let me tell you what’s not happening. No one on the other end of that computer is going, Oh, he said, no gay players.
I’m going to take myself out of the running. Or he, she said, no, none of this. And so I’m going to take myself out of the running that doesn’t. So be positive about what you’re looking for and focus a whole lot less all the way down to zero on what you don’t want, let your personality shine through in your profile. So that people say, Oh, they look like somebody I’d like to spend some time with them they’re funny. They have a good sense of humor. They’re witty, they’re charming. They’re clever something that shows through with who your personality is. Not just a list of, I ain’t dealing with this and I don’t want that. Don’t come and be, if you have this, that’s not sexy in any way. So, especially as we date, as we get older in our forties, fifties, sixties, and up as we’re going out and dating because of divorce, or maybe we’ve lost a spouse or a partner to COVID or cancer or car accident, whatever.
And we’re back on this single scene, or maybe we’ve never left a single scene. Maybe we’ve always been on it. This is your opportunity to shine and to make the world just a little bit smaller because you can meet so many people, you would never have an opportunity to run into. So put your best foot forward out there on the internet. If you need help with any of that, please feel free to contact me. And I’m happy to help. You can contact me at the email below. You could follow me on all of my social media, which I’ll also have below, and in the meantime, happy dating and have a pleasurable day.
Bye.
Have a question you want to ask about sex? Click the link below and I’ll record a video anonymously answering your question.