Hey everyone. It’s Renée,Yvonne, The Gen Sexologist. And this week, I want to talk a little bit about seduction. As we get older. I hear people actually, I’ve been talking to a lot of couples who have been saying that things just aren’t the same. It’s not as exciting sexually for them anymore. They’re a little bored. They’re trying to figure out what to do. And sometimes we tend to think that we need new positions. And so we go to the Kama Sutra and we try to do, you know, some position that’s going to make us end up using our health insurance much more than we want to. And that’s not the point. Sometimes it’s not about the sexual position. It’s about the seduction. It’s about getting your partner in the mood. So I want to talk about the five senses and how you can use your five senses in order to seduce your partner. So this is different than the five love languages. Like we’ve all read that or taken that test. And we know that we are, you know, acts of service is what gets our partner in the mood, or maybe we are words of affirmation and we need to hear feedback and praise. And I love using things like that to get us in the mood. This is a little bit different though. This is about using what you already have, your five senses in order to seduce your partner. So you will need to know a little bit about them.
And you can, you’ve been with them long enough that you probably know, but let’s start out with visual. This is the one that we all typically have, right? So with visual, you may decide that you want to do some things that really excite your partner visually, especially if they are a visual person. And so those things can be things like just making eye contact with them, gazing at them, looking at them, flirting with them a little bit. You look good. You know, letting them know that you appreciate what’s in front of them. It could be you wearing something that’s visually appealing for them. So maybe you’re wearing some type of lingerie or underwear or costume that you know that they would like. And so you can start out there making that visual seduction with your partner. You may also want to try something as simple as tidying up. If you have a visual person that you’re partnered with and you look around the house and they, and they are a person who needs things to be neat and organized and clean before they could even begin to get into the mood, make sure that that happens. If it means you do it, you bring some people in to do it or you hire people, get that place clean because that can help them get in the mood. They’re not focused on the clutter because now it’s clean and they can just say, I can be in the mood with you. It could also just be what we call being opposite of the room. So sometimes you might see a part, you might see your partner and they’re moving with everybody is still, or they’re still, when everybody’s moving. Maybe they weren’t a bright color in a room full of, of black, you know, or white, they’re just doing something very different. And you can do something like that in order to visually stimulate your partner because it’ll instantly draw their eye to them. So think about ways like that in which you can visually seduce your partner to you.
The second one is auditory, and a lot of people are auditory people. So seducing the auditory person is going to be sometimes saying words of affirmation. You look great today. I love that outfit on you. I love that shade of lipstick. Your hair looks nice. I love that you shaved today. I love that you didn’t shave today. It could be saying those things that really let them know that you notice them and you appreciate them. It could be hearing them when you kiss them or you touch them when you know, and you moan and you just go, Hmm, that feels good. Or like when you do that, but saying those things and giving that feedback is what an auditory person needs in order to feel seduce. Sometimes they just need great conversation. Like, I love to have a great conversation with somebody about all the taboo topics. It could be politics or sex or race or religion, and you just get engrossed in this conversation. And suddenly you’re like, wow, this is he’s really good at this. You know? So that can be something that really turns somebody on it’s great conversation for an auditory person. Music can get that person in the mood. So the right music they could, what you like, what they like do they like the blues? They like R&B, do they like Afro-beat? Do they like country? You know, what kind of music is it that really gets them going Q and A is awesome too. It’s awesome for them as well. So that doesn’t mean that you’re going to interrogate them, but it does mean that you may ask some questions of them just beyond. How was your day? What did you learn today? What was, what was the highlight of your day? What new things did you learn? Those kinds of things that get them talking because they also often like to talk as well. And low soft tones are really nice. So again, speaking in a lower voice, as opposed to a higher pitch is often much nicer for someone who appreciates auditory sounds.
The third one is your sense of smell. And so this is a simple one, right? It could be something as simple as cooking a meal. When you walk in the house, you can just smell the pot roast, the quiche, the whatever it is that they like, and that gets them going. It could be using scented candles. Like I love for my house to always smell like I’m baking, even when I’m not. And I love to bake, but sometimes you just want the house to smell like apple pie or fresh chocolate chip cookies. And so since it candles can do that instance can be a way to do that. There’s a lot of wonderful incense out on the market or the melted wax. So smells like this can really help a person to get in the mood. And of course, things like cologne or pheromones or oils bath and body, those kinds of things that when they’re on your skin, they smell different for everybody chemistry. And so those can be something that really turn on someone who sends the smell is what gets them seduced.
The fourth one is taste and taste can be anything from food. Again, like something you cook, like maybe there’s a dish that they really love and you make that for them. And you know, sometimes you had something, you know, especially at Thanksgiving and Christmas when you don’t eat something all the time and you get it at Christmas, like, oh, so good. And so sometimes that is what people need. They feel seduced by that. It could be a delicious dessert. It could be the taste of your skin. Maybe you’ve used a massage oil or a flavored oil when you’re giving them a massage. And that just feels really good or flavor lube. And those are the things that really get them going, because that sense of taste really excites them. It is very closely connected of course, with this sense of smell.
And then last but not least is touch. And so touching of course can be, you know, touching their hair. It could be rubbing their face. It could be caressing their face, their arm, holding their hand. When you walk down the street, it might be kissing them. Of course it could be the massage that you give them an erotic massage. So all of those that are foot rub at the end of the day. So think of those days as to how you can seduce your partner, using those five senses, and that can help spice things up in a way that a new position won’t right. Like a new position is always fun, but these are the things that you can do all the time with your partner and constantly learn and get feedback from them because they can tell you, you know, I like more pressure. I love when you hold my hand when we walk down the street. I love when you kiss me, you hold my face. I love when you grab my butt when we’re walking. Find out what those things are that excite them so that you can be seducing them pretty much all day. And you’re doing foreplay all day, as opposed to five to seven minutes before you actually have intercourse. And this way, by the time you get to where you want to be in bed and the kitchen and the living room in the car, whatever, I’m not judging, but wherever you get to the point where you’re ready to have intercourse with your partner, they’re already revved up because you have been doing this seductive foreplay with them all day long.
So I hope this was helpful. And I look forward to talking to you more about this. If you’re interested in continuing this conversation, you can meet me over at my Facebook group. Gen Sex Talks About Sex. Oh, that was a tongue twister. Okay. So Gen X Talks About Sex. You can meet me over there and that group, you can also follow me on social media. I’m the Gen Sexologist everywhere, except Twitter, where I’m just Gen Sexologist.
And of course, Sunday mornings at 10 am EDT, we do our weekly podcast, The Gen Sexy podcast. So I love to see you there and I will talk to you next week. Bye.
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