Hi Everyone. It’s Renee Yvonne, The Gen Sexologist. And welcome back. So this week I want to talk about a topic that we need to talk about. Okay. and I think it’s important that we have this topic. So recently I’m just gonna be vulnerable. Say in the past I was with someone who began to finger me and said, oh, let me hit that clit in my vaginal canal. As a sex counselor, I had to stop because I can’t just let this go on like this. And I believe that I’m doing the Lord’s work. So I need to educate in a very kind way. But I needed to explain that my clitoris is not actually inside of my vaginal canal. So I’m going to do a little lesson today to help you become cliterate if you aren’t already. I’m often surprised at the number of people who don’t know about the clitoris, where it is, how it works, anything.
So let’s begin.
So this is a clitoris, it’s kind of like a wish bone. You have the head of the clitoris here. This is the part that most people are familiar with. And then you have the arms of the CLIs, the outer arms, and you have the vestibular bulbs here. So this is an entire clitoris. This is what it looks like. It’s pretty big, right? Because normally we’re just thinking it’s this little, you know, this little part that we can see this little button here. And sometimes what happens is if your partner discovers the clitoris they kind of go at at it like a DJ, like just scratching a record like that just for some women. That’s great for some people who have clitoris, that feels great for others. That can be irritating after about 90 seconds to two minutes. And it just doesn’t feel the same. Now the clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, over eight thousand nerve endings.
So it is the most, one of the most sensitive parts of a woman’s body. And it is the only part of the body that is designed specifically for pleasure. It has really no other purpose. It’s just designed for pleasure. It’s made out this same erectile tissue as the penis. So it has a head, like I said, has a shaft, right? So it has that same type of erectile tissue when it’s aroused. It increases in size anywhere from 50 to 300%. So it can really enlarge and engorge and those nerve endings become extremely sensitive. So now that you’ve seen the clitoris, right, I’m gonna pull up my model. This is gonna be difficult because one of the things I’ve discovered is that it’s super hard to find an anatomically, correct? I don’t know why that is, but someone hasn’t done that. So I’m gonna pull up the vulva.
So with this clitoris, this is, this clitoris here. This is how it would be located. It would be underneath these vestibular bulbs here would like under here, this is the would be the head. This is the hood. And underneath would have the, the head of the clitoris here. And then you have these outer wings laying out here. What this means is that there’s so much of the clitoris that you can stimulate on your partner who has a clitoris. So there’s a lot that you can stimulate here. It’s not just the head. You can definitely these vestibular bulbs, arms, the head, all of this, all of this is fair game. So I’m going to go through four, four ways that you can stimulate the clitoris without doing the DJ rub here. Okay, great. All right.
The first one is to take your fingers and you’re gonna take your index and your thumb and you’re going to pull the labia. You’re gonna pull it down and out. Now most women have never had this done to them. Most vulva owners have never had this done to them. And this is can seem a little frightening to you if you’re doing it for the first time. Like, oh my gosh, is that gonna hurt them? But it won’t. So you’re just gonna pull. This feels really good. It gets into those nerve endings underneath the clitoris, by just pulling gently on the inner labia. That’s the first technique you can do. It will set you apart. If you are going down there and fingering your partner vulva owner partner.
Number two, it’s called Jilling off. Take on jacking off. So we are often familiar with a person with a penis jacking off, right? So this is Jilling. This just means that you’re gonna take because remember I just said it has the same made out the same erectile tissue. So with this one, you’re gonna take your thumb of your forefinger. Again, your hands are super important in this. You’re going to take right by the hood and you’re just gonna rub up and down. Just sort of like you are jacking off, but you’re doing it with the clitoris. So you’re just gonna rub on that. The nice part is that it’s not direct stimulation like right to the head of it. You’re stimulating right around the head of it with the hooded part of the clitoris or the hood of the clitoris.
Number three is to rub the vestibular bulb. So you’re gonna take your fingers and make a V shape. You’re going take that and you’re gonna rub it right in between the outer and inner labia up and down. So you’re going to get the you wanna use lube and you know. I should have told you that, but lube is important. So you’re gonna take that and you’re gonna rub your fingers up and down outside of the inner labia. The great part about this and why this feels so good is because it is rubbing right here on these vestibular bulbs. Okay. Right there. So you’re really the rubbing just like this. So you’re the clitoris, the head of the clitoris. And then you’re also getting the vestibular bulbs, which are super sensitive.
And the last technique is piano fingers. So a piano fingers, you’re gonna take your fingers and you’re just going to tap. You can tap outside on the outer labia or you can go inside and do inner labia. You can do it with both hands alternating up and down, starting right by the clitoral hood coming down, come back up on the outer, go down on the outer, come back in, play around with it and see what feels good. Now what’s important in all of this is to check in with your partner. Does this feel good? Do you need more pressure? Would you like me to warm my hands up? Would you like me to make them colder? Would you like me to use more of my nails lessen my nails, the pat in my fingers. Do you want more pressure ask and check in because this is what’s important because if you don’t check in, you don’t know if it feels good. And sometimes we are not as open about how it feels to us because we don’t wanna hurt your feelings. We don’t wanna be the police. So we want to, you know, maybe just lay back and just say, I’ll just deal with it. But if you check in, then that person can tell you. So you may say on a scale of one to four, you know, four being the best.
Do you like it? If they say, well, it’s a three, what could make it better? What could I do to make it a four? Maybe it doesn’t need to be a four, but if you wanna ask that question, what could I do? So maybe, you know, maybe you’re doing this and it’s like maybe if you pull a little harder, that would feel good. Or you know, if you’re doing this, maybe they say, I just, that, that just, that’s not doing anything for me. I don’t like it. So maybe you stay out that maybe they love it and you stay here, but they don’t like the lab pulling whatever it is, check in with them and find out what works for them. So I have just made you a little bit more cliterate hopefully please go back and practice some of these with your vulva having partner and see how it goes and report it in the comments. If you liked it, if you wanna try something different or let me know how it worked for you. In the meantime, I will see you in the new year because the next one we do will be it’ll be January, 2022. So thank you so much for going on this journey with me and sexuality. I have all new things coming up in the new year. I’m so excited about and I hope you join me for all of those in the meantime, have a pleasure field weekend.
I’m Renee Yvonne, the Gen Sexologist, and I’ll talk to you later. Bye.